Tuesday, February 3, 2009

feeling full?

Last night on my way home from work, I just let it all out praying out loud. I felt full-to-the-top with some sort of emotion, but I couldn't put my finger on it... So I just prayed for today and the kiddos at my cottage and anything else that popped into my head. Then I had the overwhelming desire to cry. That need did not diminish when I got home; I realized I hadn't deposited money into my account and was going to overdraw if I didn't put it in "right now." So I got dressed again(a fleece, a hat, jammie bottoms and boots), loaded up Kenai and Dakota into the Camry, and went to the bank in my odd get up. Money was deposited. It was bedtime next. I tried, I really did, to just lay down and relax and enjoy my time next to my husband. But before you know it, my mind was like popcorn and HILARIOUS visions were popping up. Like when he and I had a fight and I was SO tired I just laid down on the L-couch in the corner and fell asleep to elevator music blaring from the weather channel. For some reason that was beyond funny last night. And of course, then I farted. Which makes everything a million times more comical, and Kenai came up to me in bed and cocked his head at me wondering what was going on. Which, to me, was completely hysterical. Andy then asked God to "help his weird wife." Side-splitting! It was about midnight before I could stop exploding with laughter, shaking the bed, and keeping Andy up....bless his heart....

I have such a hard time distinguishing feelings that are legitimately pushing me towards something, and feelings that are just hormones. I'd like to say that right before a woman's period she is especially in tune to all things spiritual, filled with insight and wisdom, and sensitive others' lives and emotions. But I think it's just PMS.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Oh happy day!!

I just got back from a run with Kenai and it was great! It's 35 degrees out right now, so pretty splashy and Kenai was filthy. He loved it. I think this weather is my favorite to run in--not too cold, but not too hot (i hate being hot.)

As much as I love winter and prefer cooler temps to hot ones any day, I always anticipate spring and the smell of mud and melting snow. If you don't know what I mean, sorry. But the fields growing up always had a very distinct smell, and the feel of the warm sun and the cold air still coming up off the packed snow/ice is a memory etched in my mind. The sounds too--running water and more birds in the mornings. Mom would buy her pot of bulbs when the winter seemed just too long, and the crocuses would start to come up.
I know full well that spring isn't here yet, but these tastes of what is to come propels me forward!! Changing of seasons is so incredible. Dead/dormant, new life, growing, blooming, shedding, repeat! So many metaphors here...