go emily go!

the me i want to be;)

2012-02-01T10:51:00.001-05:00

This really cracks me up. Though i don't think it's quite this bad, i think it's something along these lines! I went for a great 5 miler yesterday with the double jogging stroller & Tonya and her single jogger. We owned the town's streets;) and the slush. but it was awesome to get out there and sweat on January 31st!

Can't wait for the next run. Now back to crocheting.

running buddy & PPD no more!

2012-01-30T12:08:00.001-05:00

I think I've kicked it! for real!

I think i'm done with postpartum depression. I feel better, my mood swings are no longer in the bipolar category & cycling every 30 minutes, i find joy in things again & I have energy. I can not express how much relief i feel. my husband agrees, for sure. Gosh, there were points where i felt like "what if i never get better? what if this is the new normal?" that really stunk. I can't even write how relieved i am, but if anyone needs to talk about PPD and what worked for me, needs some camaraderie, or whatever, send them my way. (I feel like it's a really taboo topic & you'll get no judgment here. )

Winter has come, a bit anyway, with some snows lately. However, it's supposed to be in the 30's this week so that will melt most of it. right now it's dripping off the roof. But my pal Tonya & I got in 2 awesome runs this weekend, one each on Saturday & Sunday. Saturday's was about 4.5 miles, and Sunday's was close to 4. I felt so good & tired when i went to bed last night! And today I'm sore. So wonderfully sore. It's been an awfully long time since I've felt sore that didn't involve a c section or body aches from depression. Woohoo!

just some of the important gear for winter running. amazing how much i pile on.
that's gotta add about 5 pounds to my run!

I am hoping to get out today & this week too. The double stroller from the family at my church isn't exactly what I was looking for, but the front wheel does lock so we'll give it a whirl. It might not be ideal for snow (I think a big front wheel would work better-?) but i'm game:)

A Midwinterafternoon's thoughts.

2012-01-16T15:56:00.002-05:00

I've got some winter blahs.

("We've got cabin fever...")

Some days it has been cold out, but not snowy, so that means no pulling the girls on the sled/snowshoeing down the Trail. Some days have been warmer, but not consistently enough for me to gain any steam in running/getting back into shape. I've been trying to do Pilates and that has worked to a certain extent, but my ladies have not been sleeping at the same time. You can insert your advice _here_ but honestly I've tried to be creative and just plain feel defeated. So I'm a little blah-y. I do have some exciting news tho! Some friends from church have a double fixed wheel jogging stroller that they are going to drop off later today. YAY!! I'll be able to clean it up and dream of early morning runs on the lush green Trail with the sun shining through the trees and sparkling off the lake. ahhhh.... Or just run in the reflector vest in the dark slushy streets of Waterville until then;)

Until then, I will continue to read up on postpartum depression & trying to help myself as much as i can. That is one BUGGER of a deal, PPD.

I feel like i could write a book on it myself. Maybe some day, after I have some sort of credentials:)

Monday morning:)

2012-01-09T10:31:00.002-05:00

It's a beautiful monday morning, sun shining through the windows (that need to be cleaned, btw), the garbage & recycling trucks have made their way down the streets, carly is watching Finding Nemo while intermittently hopping over to me to get a hug & tell me I Yuv You! Corine is napping in her swing and I'm thinking of things to do today & this week. The only odd thing is that it's January 9th, it's above freezing and there's no snow anywhere around. Yup. Odd. I've been running again, and as foreign as my body has felt running lately, yesterday afternoon I went for a 3 miler and it felt mostly normal! It wasn't a spectacular run, but I did it. During the week though, i have a harder time getting out. With the 2 little ones and only a single jogger, it makes it hard. Corine is growing like a weed and its starting to hurt my back when i have her in the baby bjorn for a really long time, and running is obviously out. So i'm in the market for a double, what with the "non-winter" winter this year.

Here it is: the item I've been looking at getting. It's an InStep Flash. If God would like to bless me with another option, i'm open to that too! So I've been working at saving up/watching Amazon.com for a sale. We'll see what comes up, but I'm hopeful.

I've also been thinking a lot about worship music & playing guitar again. It seems to go in spurts, but the spurts are usually a year or more long. Anyway, it's rising up again! Yay! Gotta do some searches for new worship music...probably matt redman & Charlie Hall to start with.

headaches & rain drops

2011-12-14T10:36:00.002-05:00

oh these headaches! If i never had another one, I'd be a happy camper. In my years of headaches, here are some of the "possible" causes:

pressure changes

hormones

mold

yeast

gall bladder issues

lack of sleep

dehydration

pinched nerve

foods such as coffee, chocolate, hotdogs

too much sugar

too much salt

not enough salt

high blood pressure

this is not exhaustive. but it is exhausting. I have an appointment on Friday, again, to try and pursue this.

what a pain in the neck! Yesterday i had a miserable migraine all day. really bad. i tried our insurance's phone nurse number which was NO help, and then i called the local physician which directed me to call the hospital dr's, then I sat on hold after being transferred through the phone system at Mayo Mankato for 17:30. that's ridiculous. i hung up and figured i'd suffer through it. it's back again and i'm frustrated. grr.

it's raining today though, which i would usually like and enjoy, except that it's december!! I'd like some snow for Christmas, but i'm not sure we'll have any this year. I'm still holding on hope, though:)

back into the swing of things!

2011-12-12T11:08:00.004-05:00

I'm giving it another go. It's not that I don't want to keep this thing up (it's as fun for me to keep a blog as it is to read them!) but I have really been struggling to find time to keep up with posts. But I think the new little gal is getting scheduled;) she's napping right now, which makes me SO happy because she's napped at the same time each day for about 4 days. She's going on 3 months (December 29th will be.) so i think i can actually start to have things regular again!

I have been knitting and crocheting my little fingers off lately too.

I love making hats, but man it will be nice when i can get creative again and try some new patterns. I have some orders to fill first though. I've also been baking and cooking intentionally, using a strict budget, clipping coupons, & planning the weekly menu. Sounds a little obvious, but I'd never seriously done it before...always just flew by the seat of my pants!

Running has been difficult to get done. It seems to take so much work to get someone to watch the girls (I only have a single jogging stroller so far) and we've had a cold snap here too. When andy gets home from work, it seems so busy until bedtime--hard to tell him he's got the girls while i run. That could be changed, but Corine doesn't take a bottle yet, so the only source of food/comfort she's had SO far is me... But she's getting older! I'm getting [marginally] more sleep at night! I may be able to run with the Dakota in the Dark before too long... We will have to see, but I'm remaining hopeful:) I just need to set realistic goals. Like, regular running starting in January. That's realistic. i think right now anyway!

blech.

2011-08-09T11:12:00.002-04:00

It's been awfully hot, and this pregnant lady has NOT been liking it. I don't like the heat to begin with, but add an extra furnace in there and I'm so tired, so sweaty, and moderately grumpy (my husband would say very moody and hormonal and "when can i get my wife back?"). so, needless to say, due to my grouchy attitude, i haven't blogged recently at all. HOWEVER!!

Today it is Gorgeous Outside. Highs in the low-mid 70's. finally!!!! I'm not sweating through my bra & underpants before 9 am. I've never suffered heat stroke, or even heat exhaustion I think due to the fact that my body sweats at any slight discomfort. Which is a blessing and a curse;)

The weather outside really makes me antsy to get out there and run though!! I think i'm going to push the water and go for a good walk tonight with my pal tanya.

In the heat, i've been listening to messages from Granger Community Church in Granger, Indiana. I love this church because it is "modern" in it's music choices (which to me means the worship team plays music and songs that are new--and some old hymns--and not necessarily always on the radio. Songs by Charlie Hall, Matt Redman, and some chart toppers that relate to the messages. Anywho, i like the creativity and the theology of the pastor, Mark Beeson, as well as the other Preachers like professors, authors, and community members. I'd recommend listening to some of them while doing dishes, ironing, and other mundane house tasks that you hate.....:)

The Rogue Chicken.

2011-07-18T11:06:00.003-04:00

This morning I saw The Rogue Chicken again. It was wandering across the street into the woods up by the blackberries. Now, I don't live in a really urban area, but it IS a city/town. We live on the edge at the base of a big wooded hill. Apparently a chicken has taken up roost in our neighbors garage, laying eggs in a tarp and hanging out on the front porch. It's just a little weird, however I'd be collecting the eggs if I was my neighbor. Dakota smells its path each time we walk by, and I'm dreading if he ever decides to take off and blast into the woods to "hunt" the chicken. It remains elusive when I head out for a walk with Dakota and my phone, (i.e. camera) but I'm keeping the faith that I will photograph it soon.

Peaches & Cream Pie and cloth diapers

2011-07-12T20:30:00.005-04:00

about 2 Sundays ago, the hubs & i were on the way out the door to church and i realized I'd forgotten to refill the diapers in the diaper bag. so i sprinted (haha. fast-shuffled) back into the house and seeing the diaper drawer empty, snagged a cloth diaper. carly was in cloth from about the time she was 3 months old until we moved to minnesota. (my parent's house didn't have a sprayer for the shower. this is important because i do NOT like dunking poop diapers in the toilet and running to the washing machine yelling "get out of my way! NOW!) So. we started up again with BumGenius diapers because it's conducive & money saving. (c'mon people. we're in a recession.)

I really like them. Cute for the summer especially (add a cute dress or tank and no worries about a diaper-cover-booty thingy.)

i think we have about 10 or 11. bunch of colors, but i still do put carly in over night disposables because she'll wake up cold if she pees a ton. here's our partial collection.

Today i also felt like using up some peaches in the fridge that were on sale at Hy-Vee. Peaches & Cream Pie it was:) and it was SO good.............

sliced & ready to go.

baking....

filled the house with good smells:)

ahh... a GOOD dessert!

sitting here I can smell that summer evening smell that's like dew and flowers and cut hay. I'm taking Dakota on a walk just to be in it, and then i'll probably have another piece of pie......

July's first weeks

2011-07-07T11:17:00.008-04:00

We have been BUSY! the fam and I went to wisconsin to visit a family friend and made a day trip of it, introduced Carly to the parent's pool and Lake Francis, grilled out with 2 sisters and another day with my brother's family, went to North Morristown's Old Fashioned 4th of July Celebration, and on and on.

With the onset of all this darn heat (which i just hate, by the way) i managed to dehydrate myself pretty well and had barfing and cramping for 2 days. boo. apparently i'm supposed to be drinking close to a gallon of water these pregnant hot days. Needless to say, i haven't made it out to the trail or really around the neighborhood lately. swimming in lakes and pools, though not intentionally exercise, has been movement and keeping me cool.

Carly for loves the water! She's brave and courageous! and it sort of frightens me, so andy and I need to to look into some sort of swimming lessons for that water baby:)

that's my daughter in the water.................

That's my daughter in the water, Every time she fell I caught her
Every time she fell

Every time she blinks, She strikes somebody blind
Every time she thinks, it blows her tiny mind

That's my daughter in the water, Who'd've ever thought her
Who'd've ever thought

That's my daughter in the water, I lost everytime I fought her
Yeah I lost everytime

--from "Daughter" by Loudon Wainwright III

oh these rainy days!

2011-06-27T10:22:00.007-04:00

Last Thursday, it just to happened to work out that I could head out for a bike ride on the trail! I haven't gone for a good ride in quite awhile. "People" say pregnant gals aren't supposed to due to balance being off. well, this little gal is stuffed

so far up into my torso that my center of gravity has barely been affected.

(the 29er)

so anyhoo, i biked 10.25 mi

and it was gorgeous. overcast, breezy, and cool:) boy did my butt hurt the next day!! my word!!! if i'm going to do the 5 hours 4 orphans my little butt is going to have to get tough. literally.

Saturday, my little sister alair came over to play, but instead just ran errands with us. we were quite close to lunch time, so we went to McDonalds. we really don't eat fast food that much because it doesn't agree with me, but sometimes a cheeseburger just tastes SO good:) it did saturday....

I was really excited to go for a long hike today, but the sky looks threatening. I don't want to go without carly or dakota because they love it so much, and the jogging stroller has a hole in one of the tires/innertubes.

Thus I will be trying to figure out how to mend that without heading all the way to mankato or faribault, though waseca is a viable option.... and we will head out!

summer on Sakatah State Trail:)

2011-06-23T11:19:00.002-04:00

Carly Dakota and I have been trying to hit the trail as often as possible, even if it's just for a quick jaunt. I cannot express how much i love this trail. it smells like lush green undergrowth and black dirt, you can hear the lake and the birds, and so many times i see no people:) solitude is wonderful! But if we head out on a saturday or sunday, or around supper time, there is bound to be bikers, runners, and hikers out which is nice too! folks are friendly and usually holler out their whereabouts and smile a "hi."

This is my view lately:) mostly baby bump with some legs popping out from underneath.

what a good trail buddy! as long as mom remembers the snacks and drinks...

here's an action side view...some indiana pals have been asking about the baby belly. looking at this, i think i need to work on the posture.

here we are after the BEST walk on Tuesday. cool, humid, and moderately sunny.

vets, pets, & dreaming dreams

2011-06-20T15:12:00.002-04:00

so since we got back from the boundary waters/Shucks' cabin, Dakota has been itching/biting/gnawing at his hip. its really quite gross. today i called the vet and took him in. some sort of staph infection but they shaved part of his furry hip, cleaned it up good, and sent me home with salve & pills. you know, for as much a pain in the neck as this dog is, i can't believe we spend so much money on him. i do like him, which i guess is the problem:) anyway, he's assumed his lay-on-the-back-legs-splayed-wide position, so i'm guessing he's much more comfortable.

one funny thing that passed through my head while i was driving home (despite the fact that i killed the car 8 or so times in waseca, so that was still freshly embarrassing) was that i was going to go running when i got home. but i'm not. i'm pregnant. it's just funny that i can forget that sometimes! i will go for a walk down the trail later, maybe with dakota, but myself for sure.

runaway dogs & new running skort

2011-06-18T20:49:00.002-04:00

today andy, carly, the m-i-l & I went to mankato to shop, which turned out well because m-i-l watched carly while we were able to look at things;) i am still clinging to athletic clothes (you know, "kinda sporty, kinda trendy") so i found a really cute new balance running skort at Scheel's on clearance. I then of course felt quite ambitious and was going to take Dakota for a nice long walk when we got home. the weather was perfect for me: humid, cool, and misty. my fave:) i took the dog out to get his harness on which was in the car. the turd took one look at me and took off. i mean sprinted with ears down and tail straight up in the air. he circled the houses in the neighborhood peeing on peony bushes and blasting through gardens. I saw him twice and snarled his name through gritted teeth. but freedom tastes sweet to this dog. so he ran to the catholic church which just so happened to be letting out its saturday evening services. through the old ladies and hobbling couples, receiving curious looks and glares from younger folks. well, i was getting those looks. next i heard horns honking and he came zooming around a house back up to our yard. i was pretty p-o'd at this point. i went to our house and informed andy that i'd be walking on my own......

it was a gorgeous walk down the trail, and i saw the neighborhood rogue chicken walking into the woods as i got back. i'll have to write about that chicken sometime. the skort worked like a charm and will fit under the baby belly as it grows. i wish there were more options for maternity workout clothing, but it's probably not the highest on manufacturers lists.

giving it another go...

2011-06-17T12:46:00.003-04:00

ah. life really gets away from me sometimes! We moved to minnesota in September 2010, to waterville where I grew up. what a change. anyway, we are here now, i'm pregnant and expecting in october, and andy works in faribault. it's a good life, but wonderfully busy! i really hope i can keep the blog going this time:) it's updated and i'd like to have this to keep in touch with family & friends around the states/world! here i go again...

and now time for...

2010-11-08T20:26:00.002-05:00

Time for another Good Idea, Bad Idea.

Good Idea: eating salmon for it's nutritious omega 3 fatty acids.

Bad Idea: eating salmon before a run in which you have acid reflux.

sheesh.

wal-mart:)

2010-11-07T21:52:00.002-05:00

we went to the mankato wal-mart this past week (on madison ave.) There was a tent outside at one end of the parking lot and a pick-up/work truck of some sort. and rows & rows of carts. i thought, "hmm. looks like they're doing something with the carts." Yes! They were! Some wonderful person had employed & arranged some folks to come in, tighten & oil wheels, replace the decrepit wheels, swap out the mangled child belts & plastic seats with new CLEAN wal-mart ones. the cart didn't squeak and the wheels weren't squeaking and degraded. oh it was definitely a small thing, but a particular small thing that made me SO happy:)

woo!

2010-11-03T16:42:00.003-04:00

that wind is something else! gusts of 32 mph i just saw on the news. after a mini- meltdown yesterday evening about my own self concept/self regard/self whatever, and my wonderful hubby pulling some therapy tricks on my, i felt so much better about life. so i didn't snack late last night or eat breakfast dessert this morning. I went to the trail with Carly, thinking i'd had her bundled enough and the trees would be blocking some/most of the wind. well i didn't think right. carly was cold and crying and she has this foot fetish where she will NOT wear shoes or socks...those came off with in the first few minutes of the run....so i tried to tuck her in with the blanket i brought along. to no avail. so after about a mile & a quarter into the run, i decided to turn around and head back. well that stunk for poor carly!! I ended up carrying her the last mile because she was cold and i took pity on her. I was just dreading meeting someone on the trail and having them comment to me on how stupid an idea it was to take a BABY out in this weather. well, honestly, if the wind hadn't been blowing like a banshee it would have been nice and i do plan on taking carly with me on many outside outings this winter. anyhoo, we came home and i put her down for a nap and i did pilates. that made me feel sort of chunky! i'm still carrying some pregnancy weight in my tummy and it is HARD to do all the folding with it there! So i'm improving the self talk again and i know if i keep this all up, the fats will decrease;)

that's all for now. carly's waking up and we need to keep going!

fall & marriage

2010-11-01T11:52:00.003-04:00

well, we're pretty well moved in to my parent's basement. we've painted some and are attempting to make the "old basement" (ca. 1930-ish fieldstone) liveable...LOTS of de-cobwebbing & spider killing. ( I hate spiders. they give me the willies. but not as much as the webs do....) it's slow & go, but getting homier each day:)

one day last week, i definitely did NOT pray or even think about God until i found myself cornered by my feelings, emotions, & circumstances. so i got my head on straight & began praying. my mother-in-law, marty, has breast cancer. my husband is not taking it well, as is to be expected, being this far away. so we talked to marty during the week. she had surgery on Monday, thought all was good, but the cancer was in lymph nodes that they missed or something and now has to have surgery today. then chemo & radiation. andy had that plus a difficult week at work with a steep learning curve. all this to say that our marriage was taking a backseat to life and that was a HUGE mistake. I was a mess. Andy was a mess. After 3 long heart-to-hearts and some quality time at Wal-mart on Friday night ( :-) ) we were doing much better. so i'm going into this week more prepared and in better spirits.

halloween was fun! we carved pumpkins, decorated cookies (arranged by me...i love doing that stuff!) and went trick or treating with my sister & her girls. It was a really good time. we finished the night with grilled cheese sandwiches & ice cream.

i need to get my tukhus out & run today. feeling a little sluggish what with all of the weekend and all;) hopefully i can get that to happen....not dressed yet, but my teeth are brushed so there's hope.

cloudy, rainy, movey day.

2010-09-16T14:34:00.002-04:00

i'm sitting down for a quick break from packing. it's humid & cool today, with intermittent downpours! maynard & nevaeh came over (they will be renting the house) and played with carly & we were all able to eat lunch. i love cool humid, rainy days. in fact, as i sit here i'm thinking i'm going to try to run tonight, but no pressure if it doesn't work out. i haven't gone in a few days now, and i know it's good to let a body have some heal time. but it's my mind that I'm most concerned about! the cleansing feeling of sweating, the gorgeous feeling of exertion, the wonderful refreshment from breathing deeply in the lungs. I just get sick of running in the sun, as odd as that sounds. It saps me of all energy. always has.

andy & i packed up the remainder of the kitchen today. well except the coffee pot and a few other things needed often:) every moment it seems renewed with anticipation, excitement, and the reality that i'm not going to be able to be "alone" in our little house anymore:( i'm really going to miss this place, as small and cramped and as busy a road as we live on. the generosity & adventure is not lost on me, believe you me! but i'm still going to miss cedar st.

well, gotta get back to packing. i'm going to try & do all my "special" stuff, like the crafty things, yarn, etc. while andy is out with his mom running errands...and while carly is napping. she really likes special stuff:)

T-4 days

2010-09-14T22:27:00.005-04:00

good ness. i can't believe this is happening so soon. Andy had his last day at bashor on friday, mine was sunday at the church, so we have the week off. i use the word off loosely:) lots of last time get togethers, errand running, and tying up of loose ends. it's good, just a whirl of activity!

i have, disappointedly, not gotten in nearly as many runs as i'd like to. i really want to run on the pumpkine vine at LEAST one more time before we move, but i have been so blastedly tired at the end of the day (and i am not a morning runner right now. at all.) that all i can think of is heading to bed with my book to fall asleep. we'll see what the rest of the week brings. on a positive note, the last run i did was awesome on the Mill Race canal trail. i cut off 4:30 from my previous time. i ran that run in shoes because the gravel there is SHARP (i've actually tried barefoot there...not a grand idea.) but the weather was gorgeous, the time was perfect, and i felt like a million bucks!

tomorrow, andy & i are meeting aileac for lunch, then a pal is coming over to "play" with carly while we do something...pack? hahaha. i'll probably try to run! maybe around the neighborhood tomorrow.

packing has really gotten andy & i talking about what matters, how so much of life can be spent on stuff which moths & rust can destroy, and we can so easily lose our focus on what matters: family. relationships. memories. time spent. not stuff. fancy stuff, crappy stuff, cluttery stuff, etc. etc. so we've been trying to downsize & simplify. keep the things that are useful, functional, and of quality so they last. this is NOT easy! ufda. but paring down on our possessions has been oddly cathartic. painful at first, but it feels good to sit in a spacious living room because all the clutter has been taken out to the garage:) we'll see how it all continues to go (i was sort of resistant to it at first!)

and living in my parents basement, albeit generously portioned, is only 2-ish rooms big. it'll be fun tho:) positive attitude goes a long way!! and again, it's not about the stuff! it's the memories & relationships.

its happening!

2010-08-18T09:20:00.004-04:00

Andy and i are moving to Minnesota! We're doing it. We'll move the 1st of October at the latest and into my parent's basement! The Lloyd house is going to be hopping again:) 2 exchange students, 3 kratzers, and 4 Lloyd's. (4 dogs too.) I'm excited for this next season in our lives. Andy and I had a sweet heart to heart and came up with a brainstorming list that's going to lead our family's mission statement. woo hoo! life is so exciting.

we went to st. joseph and saugatuk this past weekend with Pam, Koore, Ingerlynn, & stig Morten along with kim & jason and marty & abbey.

I have also been running a lot lately, now that the temps are a little more human. This is helpful in the no-migraine arena because dehydration triggers migraines in me and i just plain sweat a lot:)

necklace giveaway

2010-08-07T11:34:00.000-04:00

newest giveaway from barefoot angie b!

sweet necklace:

http://barefoot-angieb.blogspot.com/2010/08/silver-maple-giveaway.html

a laundry list of changes

2010-07-29T10:08:00.002-04:00

well, there's been quite a bit astir at the Kratzer's household these past few weeks. Hence, no new post in a while. without sounding eloquent, here's a list of changes (which also helps me as I process life!)

Cancelled internet & cable. Actually, just cable to start. But then through confusion with Comcast & revisiting the conversation with Andy, both were cancelled. This is hard. I like the internet. I like blogging & reading blogs & recipes & googling things & facebook. se la vie.
Andy is looking for work in Minnesota. This is due to:
I had a positive pregnancy test. Then I got my period. Then i had blood tests at the Ob. i don't think i'm pregnant anymore (which is fine in this season of life!) but I guess the results will tell us tomorrow.
So yes. Andy's looking for work in minnesota so we can be closer to my family during pregnancy #2 which is yet TBD. So we'll sell the house? Rent the house? ????
Our computer crapped out. Big time. We bought a laptop & thusly entered the next decade. (old PC was from 2004=horribly outdated.)
Carly crawls & pulls up. EVERYWHERE. I love it.
TV out of the bedroom & into the living room. Old TV into the garage & maybe a friends house after today. (=gorgeous sleep for me! & pillow talk for the marriage:) )
ps we still have 1 car.

In general, these changes have been wonderful. There have been a lot. But really, sometimes you need some change to really get refreshed. We have been praying so much too. I like it. Just getting used to it:)

projects looming...

2010-07-15T18:15:00.006-04:00

I have such an itch to make things lately, and yet, the heat is keeping me out of the garage (my "shop") so they're just looming around on the horizon of my Creativity Center in my mind. And when I say looming, I mean bouncing around, making it hazy and me feel antsy! So i'm just going to write them down here and get some of the ideas out of my head...

1. apron.I cook enough that this will be a great use of time & resources & I'll use it and look hot:)

2. Baby Sling. I have a baby bjorn that I really like, but I think for baby #2 (whenever he/she comes) I'd like to try one of these babies. (haha.)

3. Mittens. I've been working on a pair that's taking me FOREVER. okay. that's a gross exaggeration. However, I've been going at them for a good 4 hours and I'm only half-way done with the ribbing. on ONE mitten. It's a cool pattern and awesome yarn, and i think i'm going to end up keeping this pair for myself:) that's usually how i do it with new patterns that i love:)

4. This sweet scarf. From Knitty.com, it looks awesome and i love their patterns. I would love to knit/crochet things to sell at my mom's shop. I have 4 pairs of mittens and 2 scarves, which is not much, but is relatively impressive considering i have an 8 month baby and work 30 hours a week. Not that it's that impressive compared to other people's feats, but I'm working on being kind to myself:)

Hummus day:)

2010-07-12T11:53:00.006-04:00

it's hummus day at my house:) lately, once a week I've been making hummus to last me the remainder of the week. The best part about it is that I get to use my own green onions & parsley, and my own cucumbers & green beans to eat it! I seriously love summer vegetables.

<--vegetables & chick peas ready to go

<--Get blending!

and we have lunch.

Here's the recipe I've found that I like the best:

2-15 oz cans chick peas

1/2 c. tahini

1/4 c. lemon juice

1 t. grated lemon zest

2 cloves garlic

1/4 c. olive oil

1/2 t. cumin

1/4 c. packed flat leaf parsley

1/4 c. chopped green onions

Salt & pepper to taste

Blend it all up in a food processor. Add water VERY slowly if it's too thick. I use the zest & juice of 1 lemon, more cumin, & it tastes AWESOME with sun dried tomatoes:)

oh the giveaways i haven't won...

2010-07-09T14:19:00.002-04:00

i love reading the blogs about other moms and running. it REALLY makes me feel connected in such a non-running, not-runner friendly city/neighborhood. Seriously it's sad. Anyway, it makes me feel like there are more than just me out there! And they all get these super sweet products to giveaway! I can't even COUNT how many I've signed up for. But, alas, I haven't won any YET. I will continue to try, and by golly, one of these times it's going to be me:)

This dress is by far my favorite giveaway yet. (a close second to the running skirts folks get). The Nuu-Muu dress in Fleur is what I TOTALLY want and if I don't win it in Laura's giveaway at My Reason To Run I may just break down and buy one myself!

Carly Girl on the move

2010-07-08T13:10:00.002-04:00

Look at that grin! That's the grin of a girl thrilled to be crawling around on the floor putting all KINDS of refuse into her mouth. I'd lie and say I try really hard to keep the house clean, but Dakota is an elk hound people. We furminate him regularly, and each time it looks as though we've skinned a rabbit. Anyway, i do what I can. Carly's thrilled about the mobility:)

It is one HUMID day today. I think I'm going to try to run anyway and hope it rains on me. Carly will chill in the jogging stroller, and I figure I'll just put her in her swim suit and we'll commit to being wet. That always makes it better for me! If i do into a run thinking i'm going to get wet, no big deal. I also may go to the Blueberry Ranch tonight with MIL Marty. I love that place:) but she's already expressed that if it's raining, she's not in. So we'll see....she'll be the transportation since we have the one vehicle now. (which is, by the way, a choice & lap of faith that's paying off in huge ways:) )

gluten free....ish

2010-07-05T19:17:00.004-04:00

since i've been having such a bugger of a time with post partum depression, i've been doing some research. it seems that for some, a gluten allergy/intolerance affects their mood. Well sign me up. That along with all the reading i've been doing (because i can't STAND to have something wrong with me!) has me connecting some dots all around the sugar cravings, the carb cravings, the pleasure center to "comfort" my self in my brain, etc. So I'm giving gluten-free a whirl. But it's not so easy! I saw on the Today show and some other show--they sort of blur together--about "leaning in" to changing your eating habits. I have a tendency to go all in, 100% right away. Because that didn't work (we had 2 gallons of milk that I can't justify not using) I'm ending up leaning in. So yesterday, did great. No gluten as far as I know. Today I went to my pal Londa's house for a cookout. had a salad made with cabbage (good) and vinegar (has gluten). so what do you do. I wrote it off as a learning experience and ate dessert. oops. Well, now that I've eaten all my meals for the day and am pleasantly full, i'll start anew tomorrow. I read Barefoot Angie B.'s blog http://barefoot-angieb.blogspot.com/ and one of her tips that really stuck with me, when she was losing weight & starting a GFCF diet (http://www.gfcf.com/ ) was

The key to weight loss is making friends with being hungry. Not always hungry as in empty stomach but hungry in the mind too when you really want that ice cream and yet know that it will add more calories than you have burned. You make a choice. The key to weight loss and eating is to burn what you consume to stay at your weight and burn more than you consume to loose regardless of what it is you eat or when. I have found though that certain foods illicit a response to eat more and more of it instead of being satisfied with just a little. This seems to be the case with HFCS, sugar, and fried foods.

making friends with hungry. that was my thought for the day! I've committed to a week to see what I feel like, but in general, i'm doing a diet overhaul. Andy said the key for him to quit smoking the last time he did was to realize that HE could tell his brain what to think & what to feel. That the addiction couldn't really talk. So I shall try with sweets. I think i may addicted to sugar, but that is another topic altogether! Giving this a whirl may take care of all of it:)

love this girl

2010-06-28T21:58:00.002-04:00

I follow a bunch of different blogs, and I LOVE the one called Barefoot Angie B. She's in DesMoines, has 4 boys, and began barefoot running after she had terrible shinsplints when returning to running...sound like me? (except not 4 boys. goodness.)

Well anyway, i love to read her blogs because she sounds like she'd be someone I'd hang out with were we in the same neighborhood. Angie is doing a giveaway for these workout dresses here http://barefoot-angieb.blogspot.com/2010/06/stunned-sometimes-and-nuu-muu-dress.html and you should go check it out. i'd LOVE one of these but they are pretty spendy...so a free one would be alright by me! Maybe some day when I'm driving to Minnesota i'll swing by des moines and we'll go for a barefoot run:)

hot summer days

2010-06-23T15:05:00.003-04:00

I'm antsy right now. I want to go for a run today, which I didn't do the past 2 because of severe weather and really high humidity & temps, neither of which are good for little carly:) Anyway, I'm deliberating and thinking..."Hmm...I think i should go run today between storms." Why don't I just go out and run? I waste a lot of time thinking about things instead of doing them. Sometimes. I do better when I've given things thought and mentally prepare for it, whatever "it" may be. random, random, rabbit trails, digressions.....

So, i'm going to finish picking the rest of the almonds & bittersweet chips out of my teeth (so. good.) and get my running shoes on. Last time I ran, I went about 3 1/2 miles with shoes and maybe 1/5 mi without. I think I'll do the same today. Carly is getting used to the runs and I hope she likes them!

rainy running

2010-04-26T10:18:00.004-04:00

Yesterday I squeezed in a run between church and all that is KidsWorld and heading to mother-in-laws house for pizza to celebrate Andy's Master's Degree. It had been raining all day, but couldn't decide between steady rain, downpour, and sprinkle. I set out during a sprinkle, and I think it hit steady rain at some point. It's hard to remember simply because I love running in the rain so much!:

1. People seem to inherently avoid the rain. I don't know why. Maybe they don't want to get wet--? I figure if I'm mentally prepared to be wet, it's wonderful, nay, fantastic.

2. Because people are avoiding the rain, I have the streets mainly to myself. Which is AWESOME. Few dogs barking at me, few hooligans on bikes to avoid, little to no awkward people passing by "do I or don't I try to say hi...". The only people out are fellow rain lovers:)

3. Sweating is great. It's swept away by the cool rain and one feels more refreshed than when one started.

4. People driving by look at you like you're a little crazy. Which is true. But is a good feeling nonetheless.

5. THE SMELL!!! Rain smells good. it makes everything else smell good. Lilacs, cherry trees, crab apples, apple trees, PINE TREES! wet pavement, grass, etc., etc...

In summary, I would run in 60 degree rainy weather any day, and I would choose it over a sunny day any time. The humidity is good for my lungs. And the soul!!

this isn't me, but look at how happy she is running:) and imagine what those pines smell like :D

grad school and errands

2010-04-23T13:15:00.003-04:00

Andy finished with grad school last night:) graduation is May 11th, a Tuesday. We can't wait!! I haven't actually been in a relationship with him while he hasn't been in school, so this should be interesting. And fabulous:)

Getting consistent runs in is HARD!!! Carly had a few meltdowns yesterday. We started out in the stroller and got about 2 blocks away when the inconsolable cries began. People were looking at us from their yards. I tried to say witty things. But we just headed home. No run. Today? I hope for the best, but honestly I just want to ruN!!! I haven't figured out how to put Carly to bed earlier/help her stay asleep longer so I can sleep more and get up early and run. Hasn't happened yet and honestly I don't really WANT to. I hate getting up early. Anyway, I'm out now. Heading to the bank and maybe Mishawaka for a bit then for a run (**fingers crossed!)

Carly, Thai, Running, and DONE!

2010-04-19T10:53:00.004-04:00

Well, Carly slept wonderfully last night. She woke up to nurse once, and about 8:00 this morning i was awakened to her cooing and babbling in her room. There's very little better than that! Shortly thereafter, she fell over while practicing sitting on the living room floor, and cried and cried, only to be consoled with nursing and falling asleep. It was morning nap time I guess.

Going to go get Thai with Londa (hopefully!) tonight. We've tried about 3 times now without success. But i hope tonight it is. We're going to Khun-Daeng in Mishawaka. Love their food. It's a hole in the wall place, but the cook speaks no English and the waitress is sassy. It's "neat."

Also doing better running. Went 46:38 yesterday. Felt really good! I have been looking for more races to run. Sunburst? Tecumseh Trail Marathon? Twin Cities? We'll see:)

Andy is done with wait did you read that?! DONE WITH his internship and grad school on THURSDAY!!!!! I haven't even known him NOT being in grad school. What a challenging season this has been. Grateful to God that our marriage withstood this first year and a half along WITH internships AND a new baby. That's a miracle in and of itself! I still have a deep seated love for the song "Two sets of Joneses" by Big Tent Revival....

This here's a song about two sets of Jones'
Rothchild, Evelyn, Rueben, and Sue
And just for discussion through random selection
We've chosen two couples who haven't a clue

Rothchild was lucky to marry so wealthy,
Evelyn bought him a house on the beach.
Rueben and Sue, they had nothing but Jesus
And at night they would pray that He'd care for them each

And the rain, came down,
And it blew the forewalls down
And the clouds they rolled away
And one set of Jones', was standing that day

Evelyn's daddy was proud of young Rothchild,
He worked the late hours to be number one
Just newlyweds and their marriage got rocky,
He's flying to Dallas, she's having a son.

Rueben was holding, a Giddeon's Bible,
And he screamed "it's a boy" so that everyone heard
And the guys at the factory took a collection,
And again God provided for bills they incurred

So what is the point of this story,
What am i trying to say
Is your life built on the rock of Christ Jesus
Or a sandy foundation you've managed to lay

Well needless to say Evelyn left her husband
N' sued him for every penny he had
I truly wish that those two would find Jesus
Before things get worse than they already have

There's two sets of jones'
Which ones will you be?

Sunday

2010-04-18T15:06:00.002-04:00

I just woke up from a nap that had me dreaming within 5 minutes of lying down. I feel SO refreshed and rested! What a phenomenal feeling. I think I'm going to head out for a run. I need to keep up with running so I can sign up for a race. I was thinking Sunburst 1/2 marathon or 10K, but I need to be realistic if I can train consistently up until then--it's only 8 weeks away...we'll see! But my knees are feeling good, I'm building muscle in my legs again, and I'm more aerobically fit...it was a year since I'd run, and I'm amazed at how out of shape I became!

A woman at church had seen me using my nursing cover a while ago. I made it without a pattern, but I knew what I wanted and went for it. She asked me if I had a pattern (no) or if i bought it (no). So she asked me to write down the pattern. Hmm...never done that before. I did ask if she'd like me to make one...(hint!hint!) but she wants to make it, or one of her relatives wants to make it. so I'll give it a go.

Alright. after I chug some water, i'm off like a herd of turtles.

updates updates!

2010-04-10T12:07:00.002-04:00

Wednesday night, Kenai went to live with Grandma Marty. Thank the Lord. Kenai is an alright dog. in small doses. alone. when he's been fed, ran, and is the CENTER of attention. This does not mix well with little Carly when Kenai believes he owns Andy and vies for his attention at all times. So marty's house it is. He can sleep on the bed there, guard her and her house, etc.

Carly is asleep. Finally for longer than 2 hours, which was last night! Poor dear. We aspirated her nasal passages a couple of times and she HATED it. but she had SO much snot pouring down her upper lip. (I don't do snot. Blood? Baby puke & poop? Spiders? fine. Snot? No.) (Puss either. No puss.)

So I had time to whip up a batch of nerd cookies. (oatmeal, almond butter, flax seed, raisins, choc. chips, whole wheat flour.) I don't know why, but I find it my mission in life to never follow the cookie recipe and always make my own additions. It drives Andy crazy. I love it:) constantly on the search for the perfect healthy and delicious cookie that I can make!

live like no one else...

2010-04-02T11:05:00.002-04:00

and later you can live like no one else. Dave Ramsey said that during his "Financial Peace University" DVD classes. I've seen them 2 times now, once by choice, and once with kiddos from Bashor when they took an off-campus course. Well, I had a dream about Dave ramsey last night. He was handing out Financial Peace cloth grocery bags. odd. I told him I had student loans and a mortgage.

The jogging stroller came today! Andy is putting it together as I type:):) I am really happy. And we will be going out on a date tonight! YAY! Jason and Kimber are going to watch Carly. And I am trying to convince myself that taking those stinkin pills for my stomach/bacteria/cramps whatever are good for me, but it is really hard when all Carly wants to do is nurse, and all i want to do is nurse. 7 days. that's all.

back to an old passion. I hope!

2010-04-01T16:16:00.002-04:00

Well, after all that research, Andy went ahead and ordered me a jogging stroller. He did it without even telling me. I was a little confused, not angry, because I thought "NOw, how would HE know what sort of stroller I want?" He went to consumer reports and read reviews, which is typical Andy:) It is an In Step, I believe. Ha! I don't even know what kind! Oh well. The main thing is that I can get out and run without having to wait on someone to come over and watch Carly. I am excited and nervous to get back in to running. Disheartened because NONE of my running shorts/skorts fit me anymore. So I'll be running in spandex capris until I can fit in the shorts.

blech. being "post baby" sort of stinks. Well, it's more that it is new and I don't know how to do it yet. I'll be sure to let everyone know when I do!

shop local. except for WIC.

2010-03-20T14:37:00.002-04:00

I watched Oprah a few days ago. The one where she was talking with the folks about this documentary called "food, inc." http://www.foodincmovie.com/ well, needless to say Andy came home from work to see me sitting on the living room floor, mouth agape, brow furrowed, and saying, "We're never buying chicken from Kroger again." The next day found me at Kroger, buying chicken. We needed the meat and it was on sale. But!! I went to the farmer's market today because I really was shocked and completely horrified to see the footage of the animals on the farms...watch it because you'll then understand. I bought a free range chicken, whole, from an Amish Farmer at the Mill Race Farmer's Market, along with some grass-fed ground beef. The total came to $21.15. HOLY COWS!! Why is this food so much more expensive? Why is locally grown agriculture SO MUCH MORE MONEY? I really only want to buy local and support my local economy and friends. But good grief! When one qualifies for WIC, it's hard to buy what one WANTS. And why doesn't WIC join forces with some other government agencies and make it possible to reimburse farmers or SOMETHING with their funds instead of Wal-Mart? (who accepts wic.) So, I'll just bite the bullet, buy my canned beans with WIC, but dream of the day when I can raise my own free-range chickens, collect their eggs, milk my goats and make cheese, and have a phenomenal garden without dogs to run through it and poop in my cantalopes. (I don't think that disqualifies my food from being organic, right?)

spring weekend!

2010-03-14T12:26:00.003-04:00

This has been a very rainy spring march weekend. I have bulbs about 5 inches tall outside the front step and under the rain gutters. Lots of rain, mud, worms and dirty dogs! I LOVE it! I have been starting to run again, better than earlier this winter. I still want a running stroller really badly, namely the BOB stroller strides fitness stroller. It's gorgeous. It's practical. It's expensive. $399. Maybe someday...

Friday night Andy and I went to the Ryan's Place Gala. I bought a new dress for the occasion and followed Stacy & Clinton's rules for my body type and event type. ( http://tlc.discovery.com/fansites/whatnottowear/fashion_tips/)

I am so tired. I have not been sleeping well. Well, a squirming, half-asleep baby burrowing in your belly/chest on the reclining La-Z-Boy sofa doesn't help. I hate doing that, but at least I don't have to get up to get her at night after I've put her down 3-4 times already--Andy has to work at 5:20 am, so the crying really hurts his sleep. I have the hope of a nap most days...She's sleeping in her swing right now.

And now I am going to go make coffee, bake some gingersnaps that I mixed up yesterday, watch some Food Network and eventually go to sleep before running to and from Jazzercise. It's going to be a good day:)

Back at it.

2010-03-11T14:47:00.003-05:00

Well, I realized I was posting things that should be on a blog on Facebook. Which was making for really long statuses. (statusi?) anyway, here we go again!

Dakota ran away today again. I came home from work and was going to let the dogs out in the front yard with a leash because it was raining. The back yard has been completely torn up thanks to the dogs, and becomes a mud slick when it rains. Hence, the dogs become DISGUSTING. I let Dakota out with one hand, Carly in my other arm. He pees. We come in. Leash up Kenai. Kenai walks out, Dakota slips by. So I've got Carly in my arm, Kenai watching Dakota, Dakota running around in the neighbor's yard across the street with his tail high and wagging, thrilled at the freedom. Neighbor starts banging on the window and I look exasperated and as if to say, "yes? what do you want me to do? I've got a dog and a baby. I'm in a skirt and heels." I leave Dakota to roam the neighborhood, and sit down to nurse Carly, debating if I should call Andy? The Police? The Humane society? No one? I don't. Just as I laid Carly down for her nap, I caught a movement of white out the window. The darn dog was 4 houses down, peeing on someone's fence. I yelled at him, he came BOLTING home, and now rests in the kennel. I wanted to kick him.

anyone want a dog?

feeling full?

2009-02-03T09:21:00.003-05:00

Last night on my way home from work, I just let it all out praying out loud. I felt full-to-the-top with some sort of emotion, but I couldn't put my finger on it... So I just prayed for today and the kiddos at my cottage and anything else that popped into my head. Then I had the overwhelming desire to cry. That need did not diminish when I got home; I realized I hadn't deposited money into my account and was going to overdraw if I didn't put it in "right now." So I got dressed again(a fleece, a hat, jammie bottoms and boots), loaded up Kenai and Dakota into the Camry, and went to the bank in my odd get up. Money was deposited. It was bedtime next. I tried, I really did, to just lay down and relax and enjoy my time next to my husband. But before you know it, my mind was like popcorn and HILARIOUS visions were popping up. Like when he and I had a fight and I was SO tired I just laid down on the L-couch in the corner and fell asleep to elevator music blaring from the weather channel. For some reason that was beyond funny last night. And of course, then I farted. Which makes everything a million times more comical, and Kenai came up to me in bed and cocked his head at me wondering what was going on. Which, to me, was completely hysterical. Andy then asked God to "help his weird wife." Side-splitting! It was about midnight before I could stop exploding with laughter, shaking the bed, and keeping Andy up....bless his heart....

I have such a hard time distinguishing feelings that are legitimately pushing me towards something, and feelings that are just hormones. I'd like to say that right before a woman's period she is especially in tune to all things spiritual, filled with insight and wisdom, and sensitive others' lives and emotions. But I think it's just PMS.

Oh happy day!!

2009-02-01T12:26:00.001-05:00

I just got back from a run with Kenai and it was great! It's 35 degrees out right now, so pretty splashy and Kenai was filthy. He loved it. I think this weather is my favorite to run in--not too cold, but not too hot (i hate being hot.)

As much as I love winter and prefer cooler temps to hot ones any day, I always anticipate spring and the smell of mud and melting snow. If you don't know what I mean, sorry. But the fields growing up always had a very distinct smell, and the feel of the warm sun and the cold air still coming up off the packed snow/ice is a memory etched in my mind. The sounds too--running water and more birds in the mornings. Mom would buy her pot of bulbs when the winter seemed just too long, and the crocuses would start to come up.
I know full well that spring isn't here yet, but these tastes of what is to come propels me forward!! Changing of seasons is so incredible. Dead/dormant, new life, growing, blooming, shedding, repeat! So many metaphors here...

enough already.

2009-01-30T09:50:00.002-05:00

okay okay. back on with it.

Economy sucks and we're cancelling cable. The lady on the phone for Comcast was nice and did her "retention" department to a T. I planned on cancelling all things Comcast, but ended up keeping internet with a discount, going to local tv channels, and got some PPV coupons. sure I'm game. Hence the renewed vigor for blogging. Well, we'll see how it goes...

Kenai and I have been running more. Now every morning when I get up and put shoes on, he FLIPS out and hopes we're going to go for a run. he has this OCD/anxiety things where he paces and runs in circles around the coffee table, the 3 sides of the bed, the "loop" in our house, etc., etc. So right now he's whining and doing the house loop.

I'm going to head out to brunch with my pal Londa. She's been my best friend in indiana since I started at Bashor. Love this gal:) We can make each other laugh when we're restraining kids at work....

continuing chronicles of Kenai The Dog

2008-09-25T09:39:00.002-04:00

Ahh. As I sit typing with my zucchini bread and morning coffee, I think back to last night and recently, and all the things this dog we own has done. Kenai wears a choker chain collar with a metal tag on it. Kenai only stops moving when he passes out from exhaustion. The jangling never stops. All day. You know when he's coming because of the noise.

1. Well, last week Kenai was jangling around the house at about 5:10 am and I was not ready to get up. So I did get up and put him outside. "Ha!" I thought. That will fix this. Blissful sleep until I was ready to get up:) I went to work. Andy texted me and said he's on his way down to the Great Wall Restaurant to pick up Kenai who had gone for a run this morning with the Army guys as they passed our house. Huh. Well, Kenai came back fine.

2. I think I already wrote about his eating the Nintendo DS Guitar Hero edition, the remotes, and aluminum foil. The puking has been often here at the Kratzer house.

3. Kenai has learned how to lift his leg! And he peed on the living room wall right in front of me.

4. Early this morning someone or something was passing by our house. Kenai leapt to the defense, barking and snarling, and hurled himself at our open window. Ripped the dang thingtop to bottom.

5. He hates the garbage truck. As I type this, He's growling and running his laps all ramped up around the house, the clang of candle holders or something in the window sill a sure sign that, yup, that is another place i can't put things after all...

Running in the dark.

2008-09-17T09:54:00.002-04:00

Good morning! I think I have finally had enough sleep in one night--I keep on saying I'll go for a run in the morning and i NEVER do. I am just too exhausted. My eye lids won't even flip open most mornings for gosh sakes. Any way, I think I might be able to go after I type this. I have been running in the evenings with mixed results....

1. It's dark. There are hoodlums out there. They don't seem to come out in inclement weather, but on a decent night, they're there. I have this thing where I stare down people who stare at me because it irritates me. This is not the best quality to have if the stare-down-ees happen to be packin.

2. the singing man by the park. One rainy night I took Kenai for a run. As I was passing a nearby park, some young buck decided to scare the snot out of me by starting to belt out "I like to move it move it. I like to move it move it." Needless to say I kept looking over my shoulder and hype-ing up Kenai for an attack, should he be needed.

3. Sidewalk cracks. I've tripped. I've even fallen. It scares me. And I could get injured. Not good in the dark.

4. Hiding from traffic. This is a plus. I really like to hide and run at the same time. There aren't many adrenaline rushes like it. I feel like a spy. I feel all edgy. I feel cool. And it is surely the closest to special ops I'll ever get.

5. It is typically cooler at night. And refreshing. I remember running at Gustavus out in the country, totally alone, THOUSANDS of stars overhead. There is nothing like it. I try to reproduce that feeling in Elkhart. But it doesn't work quite as well.

6. I am getting training runs in regardless. And a run is better than not a run.

So that's it. I'm trying to get better at being consistent. But I don't run to be on a schedule. I run because I love the experience:)

Cray-zee!

2008-09-10T21:40:00.004-04:00

well all, it has been embarrassingly long since my last post. Life got a hold of me and wouldn't let go! I am home tonight and have a chance to write (only because I'm not doing things I am supposed to do right now...)
My engagement is going really really well. Andy and I are super--it's amazing, but I really have a change in my heart for him. Like, "okay. We are really seriously going to do this." And I love him even deeper. I can't really explain it, but that's the case.
Work is crazy. I want a new job. Some days I just feel DONE with kids. I would like to raise my own, thank you, and not other's. But isn't that a selfish thought? Yeah. I feel bad just thinking it. I'll suck it up and keep on living my "really difficult" life. 2 jobs is really busy though. hopefully this is just for a season.
The dogs are equally crazy. Kenai was found running down by the Great Wall Restaurant yesterday. He jumped the fence and ran with the National Guard fellas all the way down town. Little bugger. Andy got a phone call from the vet saying Kenai had been found. (Oh shoot. was he missing?) Sunday night, while Andy and I went grocery shopping, Kenai also decided to DESTROY Andy's new nintendo DS, my financial peace workbook, the remote, a mechanical pencil, papers, magazines, and a piece of aluminum foil. All this over the living room in small bite size pieces. HOLY MAN. I didn't even know how to respond. Luckily, Andy was blessed with perspective when I don't have it. He reminded me it is just stuff, only things and we can replace the things. Yes. But good grief what a mess!!!
So I have been trying to run Kenai when I go for runs. I am just too tired to go tonight. I came home, ate a bowl of cereal, and crashed. I'll try tomorrow morning........

I was RUNNINGuh!

2008-08-14T12:31:00.003-04:00

I loved that line from Forest Gump. When he said everywhere he went he was running-guh. So I am registered for the Tecumseh Trail Marathon on December 6th. I am really excited. It will be my 4th marathon (26.2 miles), and my first trail marathon. A little nervous, yes, but pumped nonetheless. I am using a new training plan and want to break 4:30 so badly!! It also serves as motivation to keep my butt running and eating healthy. Not that I PREFER broccoli and whole grain rice to, say, chocolate ice cream, vanilla bean ice cream, or any number of desserts or sweets. But it becomes apparent very quickly to anyone who has tried to distance train that if you gorge yourself on sweets, you BONK far sooner during your runs the next day. I have to eat healthy in order to keep running during runs. Which would be the point... I am feeling reflective and relatively insightful now, but will need a little time before I can put my thoughts into words and write about running. Which I will. Because it is far more than a "healthy lifestyle" thing to me.

I am also back to West Goshen ELementary for Boys & Girls Club. It is nice to be back with my kiddos! They are so incredibly well behaved in comparison to the kids from Main club. I don't know why. I don't even know if its true! There are fewer and I know them better. I am still hiring for 2 positions (if anyone knows someone who would like a job send em my way).

It's my sister ALair's 3rd birthday this weekend. I would rather be there than here, but I have 2 weddings to go to in the near future. blech. Well, free food. (and cake:) )

what's up with me

2008-08-06T11:26:00.004-04:00

no, i don't mean it as "what's up with you, man" as much as the update-y sort. I have taken a new additional job at the Aveda Salon here in Elkhart. It's part time and has varying hours. I am excited about it because as many of you know, i have an obsession with products and smells, both of which Aveda is known for:). I'll be the receptionist/front counter/scheduler. Sounds good:)
I am starting to move back to West Goshen Boys and Girls Club. Having a hard time hiring new staff though. I have applicants, and I interview them, but my supervisor isn't here this week and i don't know who to ask my questions! I just don't want to be trying to be 5 places at once come next wednesday! But I am so glad to be DONE DONE DONE being the gym director. ufda.
I am also starting Financial Peace University by Dave Ramsey. Our church is offering it as a class. Get out of debt? Of Course I'll sign up! I am pretty pumped to get to the classes and learn and absorb as much as I can. I am NOT good with money. I am naive and uneducated in the area. I need help. I guess that is the first step, right? Admitting you have a problem?!
I went to Radiohead on Sunday night in Indianapolis. It was really awesome. I have never been to a concert like that before, and it was great. There were a fair amount of illegal drugs, but I guess it comes with the territory:) Whatever. Not nearly as shocking as the price of beer. $8.50! Holy Cow!!! Andy and I planned on spending money, so it was okay, but it just felt WRONG to spend $17 on 2 beers.
Here's a picture of the Concert from where we were. There were about 40,000 people at an outdoor arena.

And me enjoying the show:)

Vacation in Indiana

2008-07-28T22:28:00.001-04:00

My parents and Alair came for the weekend:) Here are a couple of pictures from the visit.

beauty

2008-07-20T21:19:00.004-04:00

I was thinking about beauty on my run today. The flowers in my neighborhood are thriving in this hot and humid weather, and to me they are beautiful. Landscapes, sunsets, hands, my family, are all beautiful to me. I enjoy baking and i deem the outcome beautiful. I love to create things and, in a sense, make beauty. i even like putting makeup on my face and enhancing my own beauty. People spend small (and not so small) fortunes on their own beauty. But what happens in other cultures who don't have the same things I do? In Indiana there are a lot of Amish folks and plain is the name of the game. plain looking, plain clothes, plain homes, etc.It's interesting that they have found a way around this "plain" rule and put so much effort in making their gardens beautiful. And I mean BEAUTIFUL. They have some of the most lush (and weed free) gardens and lawns. They also put beauty into their handiwork. Great detail is put into furniture and quilts and anything else they create. They create beauty too...
Other cultures? Tribes in Africa put a reddish bark/root on their skin to make it more reddish. More beautiful. The list goes on. Isn't it interesting that humans love beauty? Love to create beauty? I think it is one more example of just how much we are made in the image of God. He loves beauty, so we love beauty. He has and does create beauty, so we do the same. I'm going to keep chewing on this one.....

Hot days, hot gyms

2008-07-15T11:45:00.002-04:00

it is another hot day in Goshen, Indiana. i'm a gym director for the boys and girls club for the summer so i spend my day in a little office and in a big 'ol outside-air conditioned gym. if you know how i sweat, then i've gained your pity. it gets so hot. to the point that other staff come down and say, "Wow. it's really hot in here!" and then eventually leave me in the gym with 65 hot sweaty and stinky children of various sizes and maturity levels to sneak back upstairs to the air conditioned rest of the club where they adorn themselves in sweatshirts. i, on the other hand, have begun a petition for staff sleeveless shirts and athletic shorts. i've also seriously considered cutting the sleeves off of at least one of my staff shirts...
the rest of the week is supposed to remain in the 90's with "increasing dew points." Thanks Gordy Young. bring it on.

Circle of friends...

2008-07-13T20:38:00.000-04:00

I just got back from taking the dogs for a run. Well, I take Dakota and Kenai separately because they're typically on their own agenda and I never quite know how it will go. Anyway, I took Dakota first and by the end, I had the lead looped around my waist, dragging Dakota home. Out of pity, we ended up walking. Then I switched Kenai for Dakota. After the first mile, he settled into a lovely rhythm and we had a great run. It ended up being a beautiful night, cool breeze, sun setting dusk light. And now I'm home to finish laundry and get ready for the week:)

I spoke with 2 friends I haven't spoken to in quite some time here recently. Thursday I talked with Robin (Stennes) Bartel who was my college roomie sophomore and senior year. It was awesome to hear from her. And today I talked with Travis Urbatch, first serious boyfriend! We talked for a really long time and had a great conversation. On my run i was reflecting on it. It is so good to be grateful for a relationship and see it honestly as it was. Dating Travis had a part in bringing me to where and who I am now. Travis and I talked about how being together was fine for the time, but we were in different places emotionally and the relationship had to either take a step forward and more serious, or back and cool off. It felt really cool to be able to look back and see that we chose the right one:)

God brings people into our lives for seasons. It is just awesome when you've been around a little longer and those people cross your path again.

Underpants, underwear, panties, underbritches...

2008-07-10T07:07:00.000-04:00

So have things ever gotten away from you? You know, like the weeds in the garden, the dishes in the sink, the clean dishes in the dishwasher...the dusting, the laundry, etc? I am going to go ahead and assume yes. Well, the other day I was trying to find a pair of underpants to wear under a pair of shorts that didn't have back pockets, hence, the underwear needed to have no VPL (visible panty lines for those who don't watch What Not To Wear). So I ran the gamut in style and material in my panty repretoire. And then it hit me like a load of bricks. In my efforts to become fiscally responsible (read: not buying clothes) I had worn the same pairs of underpants for going on 2 years. They had all become that same pinkish-greyish-bluish color. Microfiber was pilling. Cotton was now sheer. And seeing as I have an obsession with clean underpants, my entire collection was washed at LEAST once a week, which didn't help color retention. "WHAT IS THIS?! Have I turned into one of those women who just can't throw out underwear, no matter what they look like, because i can wear them...I don't even know....when I'm staining the house?! Oh no! This will NOT be me!" So I went to Kohl's. They had a sale on Discontinued underpant styles. (I find this completely ridiculous. That one would discontinue an underwear style.) Anyway, each pair was 2.99. They were nice. I feel pretty in them. I have regained some feminity. And a few more pairs of my '05-06 collection have been retired....

The Reading List

2008-07-09T07:52:00.001-04:00

The Big Read is an NEA program designed to encourage community reading initiatives. They've come up with this list of the top 100 books, using criteria they don't explain, and they estimate that the average adult has only read 6 of these. So, we are encouraged to:

1) Look at the list and bold those we have read.
2) Italicize those we intend to read.
3) Underline the books we LOVE
4) Reprint this list in our own blogs

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveler's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones's Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath7
7 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte's Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery –
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

I bet my Aubrey will blow this list out of the water.....

these dreams of mine!

2008-07-09T07:14:00.000-04:00

I have been dreaming a lot lately. i am trying to figure out if they actually mean anything--you know hidden desires or anguish, or if they are random ideas and thoughts generated by some place in my brain. Last night I dreamed that I stepped on the scale and it read over 200 pounds. I thought in my dream, "huh. well that is a surprise." I was also dreaming about a certain ex-boyfriend. He has been haunting many of my dreams lately; we are together again, and usually he ends up angry with me or cheating on me. Replaying the past? maybe. But I definitely don't want to keep reliving things I had hopefully moved on from! SO it makes me think. Did I actually receive healing? hmm.....

Meanwhile, yesterday I took both dogs for a run, separately. Dakota was lagging BIG time by the end, but Kenai was fresh as a daisy! And I have never taken him for a run! I am trying to keep my base endurance up for running, so mid-August I can start training for a trail marathon. The dogs run with me when it isn't a really long run, and when it isn't ungodly hot out.

Quote from 1 minute ago:
Vonda: yeah. he's allergic to chocolate.
me: oh really? Riley's allergic to Chocolate? That's too bad.
Riley: oh yeah. it gives me bad diarrhea. so i guess that means i'm 'lergic.